The Painful Publish

Obedience . . .
      
         Simplicity . . .

Unknowing . . .

Just put pen to paper, why is that so hard?

My foot fell on warm earth ~ only on God's glorious globe do sheets of ice fall there when warm rays fall here ~ only God.

I do not know what I did to deserve that warmth on that fine day ~ I guess He just knew that these achy muscles and frigid fingers needed some of His Son.

Maybe it was the warmth of our rhythmic runs that I so desperately needed ~ rhythm of foot falls and pleading questions and gentle answers ~ the warmth of the patient answers from the patient Father.

Normally I attempt to write little of self, for trust me, you do not need any of this self.  But, tonight I must confess that this self owes Someone an apology.  So, I have repented privately but He deserves it publicly.

Let me explain . . .

    Several years ago He told me how live my life, He gave me the blueprint for all my days. He said ~

Be obedient (always).

      Live simply (in everything).

And walk unknowingly (without questioning).

So, I set about it and we were obedient and our family grew from 6 to 11 and I learned a new language and I learned a new way to love.  And I was obedient.

And to support obedience we would certainly need to simplify, and we did.  I purged closets, pantries, bank accounts, schedules, commitments, relationships, my thinking and my words.

Then we stepped out into the great unknown.  We certainly knew that we knew nothing, save the love of Jesus Christ.  I knew that, I still do.

Obedience to Christ.

      Simplicity for Christ.

Unknowing in Christ. 

Those were our marching orders and we marched on.

On that early morning run He quietly asked, "You have lived your life in obedience, simplicity and unknowingly but have you written your life in the same?"

The Great Counselor asks all the right questions.

Obedience ~

Have I written faithfully, diligently and obediently simply because my Dad told me to?

No.  My track record speaks for itself (note the date of my last entry).

Simplicity ~

Do I write simply? 

No.  I am waiting to paint the Picasso with words, a language masterpiece.  What makes me think I can write a linguistic Picasso?  Good question, I have no answer.

Unknowingly ~

Have I written without knowing why I write?

No.  I have wanted to know the purpose, I have craved an answer that will not come.  I have questioned repeatedly, but dinner needs to get in the oven, why write?  I have papers to grade, what purpose do a few scribbled words serve?  I am exhausted, another day please?  I have not had a conversation with another adult go uninterrupted for more then 2 1/2 minutes in over 2 1/2 weeks, really?  You want me to write a blog that only a few read and even less care about, really? 

No.  No.  No. 

Three strikes and in a normal ball game I would be out but who ever said I serve a normal God?!

So, under the warm sun I said those all too familiar words of mine, I am so sorry, three times over, and He said, "I forgive you as far as the East is from the West."

I must admit this is not the first time I have written an apology to Him over my writing and it may not be the last, only God knows.

But, for today I wrote out of obedience, in simplicity and without knowing.

So, He teaches yet again and I march on and race on and pray on that I may write on in obedience, simplicity and unknowing.

Putting pen to paper, I have certainly missed you.