They were so near, just a few short weeks away, and I was already exhausted, exhausted to the core ~ bone tired and spirit weary. And they were coming, I could hear their pain and feel their deep needs and that pain and those needy eyes were fixed on me. That is natural, we look to Mama to heal the pain and meet the needs and I could feel the bottomless pit of pain and need. I could hear them coming. I wish I could say I rejoiced at the coming pain and gloried in meeting the needs of the hurting but the bone tired and the weary spirit had set in deep and wide and I felt like I might go under, under the weight of the eyes fixed on me. It hounded me ~ the pain and the all the needs ~ hounded me.
I arose early that morning and in the stillness of the house and the quiet of the moment I fixed my eyes on the One Whom heals my pain and meets my needs and this is what He said ~
Luke 17:10 ~ "So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you were commanded, say. "We are unprofitable servants, we have only done what was our duty to do."
"My duty" and "unprofitable servant," well certainly I had not thought in those terms. I had thought in terms of sacrifice and exhaustion, I had thought in terms of well ~ me. But, the One Who meets my needs reminded me that all my needs had been met once and for all on Calvary and this life I live in only my duty, my response to His love. And exhaustion and sacrifice? Well, those are words I do not rightly understand, not set at the mark of the cross. No, I do not understand and I am but and an unprofitable servant who simply goes about what is only my duty.
Yet, this unprofitable servant certainly does know words such as these ~ pride, selfishness and self serving and this servant knows her heart well enough to say that I am incapable of this duty I have been called to, especially with a humble and contrite heart.
Certainly you know Lord, that I cannot live out this duty day by day, hour by hour, and into the dark minute by minute and then say, "I am yet an unprofitable servant." No Jesus, I am not just unprofitable but incapable.
And this is what He said ~
2 Timothy 1:9 ~ "God saved us and called us to be a holy calling, not because of our works but because of His own purpose and grace, which He gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began."
Before the ages began He foreordained the grace ~ the so desperately needed grace to meet the needs and weep the tears of searing pain and to meet their fixed gazes again and again with love and mercy and then to say, "I have yet done my duty, I am but an unprofitable servant." Yes, the grace is here to do just that and the grace will be there in the next moment and the moments full of grace will carry this unprofitable servant into the inner court of her Master, the Only Profitable One.
And as the plane touched down and the wheels stopped the spin ~ the grace landed the instant before. Yes, it was promised ~ grace ~ before the ages began He saw this home and their pain and my inability and their needs and my exhaustion and He says, "My grace is sufficient for you and while you are yet an unprofitable servant, I love you still."
Yes, they are here and the grace is where? Well, it is here and will be there in the next moment it is needed.
And well, how is this unprofitable servant? Living and breathing grace that was set down before the foundations were laid, before the ages began.
We live in the promise of the cross and we race in the mercies and the grace of today, nothing more and certainly nothing less.
The race I run is merely my duty, my response to His love, His sacrifice and I look to the day when this servant has completed all her duties and lays in eternal rest in her Master's arms.
I arose early that morning and in the stillness of the house and the quiet of the moment I fixed my eyes on the One Whom heals my pain and meets my needs and this is what He said ~
Luke 17:10 ~ "So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you were commanded, say. "We are unprofitable servants, we have only done what was our duty to do."
"My duty" and "unprofitable servant," well certainly I had not thought in those terms. I had thought in terms of sacrifice and exhaustion, I had thought in terms of well ~ me. But, the One Who meets my needs reminded me that all my needs had been met once and for all on Calvary and this life I live in only my duty, my response to His love. And exhaustion and sacrifice? Well, those are words I do not rightly understand, not set at the mark of the cross. No, I do not understand and I am but and an unprofitable servant who simply goes about what is only my duty.
Yet, this unprofitable servant certainly does know words such as these ~ pride, selfishness and self serving and this servant knows her heart well enough to say that I am incapable of this duty I have been called to, especially with a humble and contrite heart.
Certainly you know Lord, that I cannot live out this duty day by day, hour by hour, and into the dark minute by minute and then say, "I am yet an unprofitable servant." No Jesus, I am not just unprofitable but incapable.
And this is what He said ~
2 Timothy 1:9 ~ "God saved us and called us to be a holy calling, not because of our works but because of His own purpose and grace, which He gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began."
Before the ages began He foreordained the grace ~ the so desperately needed grace to meet the needs and weep the tears of searing pain and to meet their fixed gazes again and again with love and mercy and then to say, "I have yet done my duty, I am but an unprofitable servant." Yes, the grace is here to do just that and the grace will be there in the next moment and the moments full of grace will carry this unprofitable servant into the inner court of her Master, the Only Profitable One.
And as the plane touched down and the wheels stopped the spin ~ the grace landed the instant before. Yes, it was promised ~ grace ~ before the ages began He saw this home and their pain and my inability and their needs and my exhaustion and He says, "My grace is sufficient for you and while you are yet an unprofitable servant, I love you still."
Yes, they are here and the grace is where? Well, it is here and will be there in the next moment it is needed.
And well, how is this unprofitable servant? Living and breathing grace that was set down before the foundations were laid, before the ages began.
We live in the promise of the cross and we race in the mercies and the grace of today, nothing more and certainly nothing less.
The race I run is merely my duty, my response to His love, His sacrifice and I look to the day when this servant has completed all her duties and lays in eternal rest in her Master's arms.
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