Who am I?

During the month of January we fasted and prayed, it was a wonderful month and a very long month which would accurately describe all of my times of fasting. We sought the Lord about many things but one particular question I had for Him was about my writing. I was seeking clear guidance in regards to my writing and He brought an answer during the fast and in the most unexpected way because He is an entirely unpredictable God. I spent the first few weeks after the answer came pondering His blessing towards my writing, smiling often when I thought of what He had done. But, as time went on I began to notice that my attitude towards writing was changing, I was not smiling anymore and to be honest I was not sure why.

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Over the last month I have prayed about it quite a bit but more then praying I was just worrying. And I was asking myself (and Will who is tired of hearing it I think) who am I? Who am I to write? Who am I to take time and ink and space with my words? Who am I? I have asked myself that quite often lately. Will (BJ) said it does not matter who you are, you just write out of obedience to God, quit worrying about it and write. But, I didn't and I couldn't.

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Who am I? ... it almost sounds as if it is humility and I think for a few weeks I convinced myself that it was. But it is not, it is narcissism and pride masquerading as humility. But the question itself betrays me, who am I? I ... that word quickly and easily demonstrates what I am concerned with ~ me. The question to answer is not who am I? but Who is He? Who is He that has asked me to write? Who is He that reveals truth to those of that will listen? Who is He, not who am I? I know I am unworthy of wasting anyone's time with what I have to say but I know that He is completely worthy and nothing is wasted that is given to Him in offering. (I may have borrowed the last part of that sentence from our Pastor, hopefully he does not mind sharing.)

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Who is He? He is the Author of eternal salvation (Hebrews 5:9) and the Author of God's creation (Rev. 3:14) and the Author of Life (Acts 3:15.) Who is He? He is an Author. He is my Author. He is THE Author. And when I write I am not the source, He is. I am not a writer, I am just the pen that He uses to put the words down on paper.

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I don't have to answer the question who am I? because I have already answered the only question that matters; who He is.

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With whatever He is asking us to do, let us not bother wasting time asking who are we? We already know the answer to that; we are sinful, unworthy, broken messes but when offered to the Almighty God we become instruments; His instruments to deliver the Gospel of Peace to a dying and hurting world.

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Who am I? unimportant ... Who is He? all that is important.