He had said that thing ~ early one morning. In the still of the quiet. Maybe in the stillness I could really hear. Maybe. Maybe not.
But, that thing he had said, it would not leave me. Maybe the stillness of sleeping babies and the quiet of slumbering teens would allow me to really hear, to really know. Maybe. Maybe not.
Oh, why do I falter so?
To him, I had been lamenting as to my silence. Lamenting my own lack of voice, my own inability to speak. Speak and be heard, speak and be known and understand. I feel the silence. Muzzled, I have been. A gag order. At times it has felt as if it were God ~ hushing me. Humbling me. At other times ~ I have wondered ~ a nefarious silencing? But, the silence, my silence has been deafening. The lack has been suffocating ~ to me. I lamented. He listened. And then he said this thing ~
"Your voice is writing, you will not be able to speak until you write."
The words hung there, suspended, they grasped at something right before me. Dangling. Clinging to something. Right before me and all around ~ I felt his words there daring me to really see, to really hear, as those brave words desperately clung to something all about me.
What was that grasping his words were doing? What were they clinging to right before my very eyes?
In the stillness, in the quiet of my heart, I knew then in that moment that they clung to one simple, yet magnificent thing.
Hope.
His words clung to Hope. Dancing before me, daring me to believe ~ He had given me a voice, if only I could, I would obey His way. The way He has given me to tell the Truth.
I had to reach out and grab them, take a hold of those words ~ those words ~ dancing before me, daring me to believe in Hope. A Hope that knows me, a Hope that loves me, a Hope that values me and will always listen to me. He had not set a gag order, He had only asked that I know His way, His specific way for me.
It is slightly different for us all you know? The Truth is unchanging but our unique voice, our particular blue print on how we show forth His Truth is all so simply different. That is how intricately He knows, how desperately He delights in me ~ that He craves a specific way of showing forth His Truth in me.
No other can tell my story of my Truth in Him. Only I can do that telling and He oh so wants to hear from me! He wants to hear His Truth from my mouth, my hand.
I am not part of the masses to Him. I am not another face in the crowd. Oh no, I am so much more then the masses and He ALWAYS spots my face in that heaping crowd! And so He set before me ~ a way, His way, our way ~ to communicate. I am special to Him, the apple of His eye and because I am a stand out (to Him) He has this particular way of our doings.
And there it is ~ those words tantalizing real, clinging to that Hope that is ever before me. That Hope that I am special to Him ~ so special in fact that He foreordained a way for me! Before the beginning of time He set down this special way He desires to speak to me. That is how special I am!
And to the weird kid in the corner, who could just never quite fit in . . . well that Truth, that I am special to Him, that He has a particular way, a unique only to me, way of speaking to me . . . well to the kid become woman who could just never get it right . . . that Truth changes everything.
I am not a number, a face in the crowd, just another statistic. I. AM. SPECIAL. TO. HIM.
He and I ~ we have our own, private morse code.
Maybe today another weird kid in the corner is reading this, the one who can never quite do enough ~ to you I say ~ GO FIND IT! Go find it right now ~ your own private morse code with Him! Your specific way of talking with Him and your own unique voice.
Because beloved, you were NEVER just another face in the crowd, you were ALWAYS the face in the crowd. The face He was always looking to see ~ always looking to and fro to look into your eyes, to tell you you were always loved in such a special and unique way.
If you too were that weird kid in the corner ~ please know, He was always hanging out in the corner with you. When you were certain no one saw you, and certainly no one could be bothered to hear you ~ He saw and He heard. You. As if you were the only one in that room.
So, go find it now ~ go find that way ~ that oh so special to you and only you way, that He is speaking to you through. And then stand on the hilltop and scream from the rooftops that He sees you and He hears you and you are oh so deeply loved. And known.
And there they were, those words dancing before our eyes, clinging to the Hope all about. WE just have to reach out and grab them.
But, that thing he had said, it would not leave me. Maybe the stillness of sleeping babies and the quiet of slumbering teens would allow me to really hear, to really know. Maybe. Maybe not.
Oh, why do I falter so?
To him, I had been lamenting as to my silence. Lamenting my own lack of voice, my own inability to speak. Speak and be heard, speak and be known and understand. I feel the silence. Muzzled, I have been. A gag order. At times it has felt as if it were God ~ hushing me. Humbling me. At other times ~ I have wondered ~ a nefarious silencing? But, the silence, my silence has been deafening. The lack has been suffocating ~ to me. I lamented. He listened. And then he said this thing ~
"Your voice is writing, you will not be able to speak until you write."
The words hung there, suspended, they grasped at something right before me. Dangling. Clinging to something. Right before me and all around ~ I felt his words there daring me to really see, to really hear, as those brave words desperately clung to something all about me.
What was that grasping his words were doing? What were they clinging to right before my very eyes?
In the stillness, in the quiet of my heart, I knew then in that moment that they clung to one simple, yet magnificent thing.
Hope.
His words clung to Hope. Dancing before me, daring me to believe ~ He had given me a voice, if only I could, I would obey His way. The way He has given me to tell the Truth.
I had to reach out and grab them, take a hold of those words ~ those words ~ dancing before me, daring me to believe in Hope. A Hope that knows me, a Hope that loves me, a Hope that values me and will always listen to me. He had not set a gag order, He had only asked that I know His way, His specific way for me.
It is slightly different for us all you know? The Truth is unchanging but our unique voice, our particular blue print on how we show forth His Truth is all so simply different. That is how intricately He knows, how desperately He delights in me ~ that He craves a specific way of showing forth His Truth in me.
No other can tell my story of my Truth in Him. Only I can do that telling and He oh so wants to hear from me! He wants to hear His Truth from my mouth, my hand.
I am not part of the masses to Him. I am not another face in the crowd. Oh no, I am so much more then the masses and He ALWAYS spots my face in that heaping crowd! And so He set before me ~ a way, His way, our way ~ to communicate. I am special to Him, the apple of His eye and because I am a stand out (to Him) He has this particular way of our doings.
And there it is ~ those words tantalizing real, clinging to that Hope that is ever before me. That Hope that I am special to Him ~ so special in fact that He foreordained a way for me! Before the beginning of time He set down this special way He desires to speak to me. That is how special I am!
And to the weird kid in the corner, who could just never quite fit in . . . well that Truth, that I am special to Him, that He has a particular way, a unique only to me, way of speaking to me . . . well to the kid become woman who could just never get it right . . . that Truth changes everything.
I am not a number, a face in the crowd, just another statistic. I. AM. SPECIAL. TO. HIM.
He and I ~ we have our own, private morse code.
Maybe today another weird kid in the corner is reading this, the one who can never quite do enough ~ to you I say ~ GO FIND IT! Go find it right now ~ your own private morse code with Him! Your specific way of talking with Him and your own unique voice.
Because beloved, you were NEVER just another face in the crowd, you were ALWAYS the face in the crowd. The face He was always looking to see ~ always looking to and fro to look into your eyes, to tell you you were always loved in such a special and unique way.
If you too were that weird kid in the corner ~ please know, He was always hanging out in the corner with you. When you were certain no one saw you, and certainly no one could be bothered to hear you ~ He saw and He heard. You. As if you were the only one in that room.
So, go find it now ~ go find that way ~ that oh so special to you and only you way, that He is speaking to you through. And then stand on the hilltop and scream from the rooftops that He sees you and He hears you and you are oh so deeply loved. And known.
And there they were, those words dancing before our eyes, clinging to the Hope all about. WE just have to reach out and grab them.
No comments:
Post a Comment