I had delayed. I faltered in that fatal moment of the first foot fall upon the ascent. I had halted and in my faltering I had forfeited my momentum. I willingly laid hard earned traction at the base of this unexpected climb.
And in my halting I had hastened the heat of the day. And now I stood basking or better yet, baking in the heat of the day.
I had had speed, momentum and I had lost it all. And now, if I would ever be able to manage to traverse this climb it would surely be fueled and fired by something in the future, for I had faltered and lost the fuel of my yesterday.
And now, I was exhausted and frustrated.
And then He asked, "Why did you delay? Why did you tarry rather then climb?"
And in a flash I knew the answer was simple and yet, silly ~ I had halted because this hill was unexpected. We had just climbed long years through the Himalayas and as we had descended into the first valley, I had intended NOT to climb for sometime. This hill. Too soon. Unexpected.
And in this halting I had hastened the heat of the day and yet, the hill was still ever before me. And the halting had come in with a questioning, "Why now?" and surely, "Why me?"
And the halting at this hill had swallowed whole the speed I had gained coming down through the Himalayas. The Himalayas had been so . . . hard and so . . . harrowing. Something inside of me said something of a 'deserved rest' or something of that selfist sort.
And so at the base of this unexpected ascent I sat and sulked and sullenly sorted through all the reasons why I 'deserved' a rest, a repose if you will. And the longer I sat and sulked with my - SELF, the less and less I felt rested. And it was certainly nothing of a repose, this was just self-absorbed, narcissism at its finest.
When I finally came to my senses, He kindly set my feet to stepping a slow and labored stride up the side of this hill. And as we ascend He graciously grants healing to atrophied muscles and thank You Jesus for muscle memory! For endurance forged in the Himalayas and lessons learned into achy muscles are still within. Even after a pity-party at the base of the climb He allowed me to regain that which I had known amongst the Himalayan rises.
And on this earth we will know much of labor and much of climbs ~ my advice to myself (and to another if the other care to receive) is never to falter at the foot of a new climb but maintain momentum as you manage up the new mount.
He NEVER said it would easy here amongst these earthly Himalayans.
And we can all rest in heaven, in the meantime ~ happy and UN-haltering climbing.
And in my halting I had hastened the heat of the day. And now I stood basking or better yet, baking in the heat of the day.
I had had speed, momentum and I had lost it all. And now, if I would ever be able to manage to traverse this climb it would surely be fueled and fired by something in the future, for I had faltered and lost the fuel of my yesterday.
And now, I was exhausted and frustrated.
And then He asked, "Why did you delay? Why did you tarry rather then climb?"
And in a flash I knew the answer was simple and yet, silly ~ I had halted because this hill was unexpected. We had just climbed long years through the Himalayas and as we had descended into the first valley, I had intended NOT to climb for sometime. This hill. Too soon. Unexpected.
And in this halting I had hastened the heat of the day and yet, the hill was still ever before me. And the halting had come in with a questioning, "Why now?" and surely, "Why me?"
And the halting at this hill had swallowed whole the speed I had gained coming down through the Himalayas. The Himalayas had been so . . . hard and so . . . harrowing. Something inside of me said something of a 'deserved rest' or something of that selfist sort.
And so at the base of this unexpected ascent I sat and sulked and sullenly sorted through all the reasons why I 'deserved' a rest, a repose if you will. And the longer I sat and sulked with my - SELF, the less and less I felt rested. And it was certainly nothing of a repose, this was just self-absorbed, narcissism at its finest.
When I finally came to my senses, He kindly set my feet to stepping a slow and labored stride up the side of this hill. And as we ascend He graciously grants healing to atrophied muscles and thank You Jesus for muscle memory! For endurance forged in the Himalayas and lessons learned into achy muscles are still within. Even after a pity-party at the base of the climb He allowed me to regain that which I had known amongst the Himalayan rises.
And on this earth we will know much of labor and much of climbs ~ my advice to myself (and to another if the other care to receive) is never to falter at the foot of a new climb but maintain momentum as you manage up the new mount.
He NEVER said it would easy here amongst these earthly Himalayans.
And we can all rest in heaven, in the meantime ~ happy and UN-haltering climbing.
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