I hit send on that post and within the hour one warden made a rash and cruel decision and in so doing tightened the chains ever further around the XO and I.
As I moved silently through that painful night I heard His quiet voice ~ "Do you still trust Me as the pains of prison deepen?"
His steady voice in the midst of chaos was calming but His question was weighty, so heavy. He has asked this question in a variety of forms many times before. And truthfully there are moments when I feel I can not withstand much more ~ no more sacrifice, no more pain and strife, no more "growing spiritually." I have told the XO before I do not think I can take His stretching, not even another inch.
But, the promise of knowing Him more, of knowing some of His great and mighty mysteries is a constant desire.
". . . which you have not known." ~ this truth is so telling, for I have surely known this world and known sin and sadness, I have known darkness and despair, I have seen the madness of men and the gobbling greed of humanity. The world I have known. So, His promise of things I have not known ~ this is of a heavenly sort. Stories of the God Spirit. Mysteries of the God Man. Whispers of the gently sung lullaby to sleeping Savior Who came to save. Murmurings of the majestic. Tales from the mouth of God sung gently over the prisoners. A freedom spoken in the midst of chains.
"Yes, I trust You Jesus. As the prison door slams shut on me again. I trust You."
As I moved silently through that painful night I heard His quiet voice ~ "Do you still trust Me as the pains of prison deepen?"
His steady voice in the midst of chaos was calming but His question was weighty, so heavy. He has asked this question in a variety of forms many times before. And truthfully there are moments when I feel I can not withstand much more ~ no more sacrifice, no more pain and strife, no more "growing spiritually." I have told the XO before I do not think I can take His stretching, not even another inch.
But, the promise of knowing Him more, of knowing some of His great and mighty mysteries is a constant desire.
". . . which you have not known." ~ this truth is so telling, for I have surely known this world and known sin and sadness, I have known darkness and despair, I have seen the madness of men and the gobbling greed of humanity. The world I have known. So, His promise of things I have not known ~ this is of a heavenly sort. Stories of the God Spirit. Mysteries of the God Man. Whispers of the gently sung lullaby to sleeping Savior Who came to save. Murmurings of the majestic. Tales from the mouth of God sung gently over the prisoners. A freedom spoken in the midst of chains.
"Yes, I trust You Jesus. As the prison door slams shut on me again. I trust You."
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