That Good

Bundled against the cold in old and worn layers upon layers I stepped near water's edge.  Early morning run, fighting against melancholy thoughts to just stay tucked under covers.  But, I layered up knowing that moving muscles and lungs grasping for more clean air strengthens not just bodies but spirits as well.

Sun, half - cracked up beyond the river's run, hues ablaze with dawn's morning light ~ a sight for sore and tired eyes.  Beauty beheld by the blustering and blundering runner.

Question.  What did I do to deserve this ~ Your glorious hues and to watch Your rising Sun?

Answer.  You did nothing, it is just because I love you.

Seriously ~ He is just that Good.

I turned to run on, internal warmth of the Holy Fire kind burning throughout when a quick movement caught my eye.  And there they were, those arching graces paired in kind, rolling through the rolling river.  Sleekly sliding up to catch His breath's air, rolling under with simple slide back to water's deep.  There they were and there I was and far more perceptible then either I or they was He and He was certainly there.  He was there long before these tired feet ran their tired tread and long before these ancient beauties arched high and dove deep, long before, He was there.

And in that moment, in any moment, I am only truly there to the degree that I find Him there.

When I wonder at this whirling wicked world it is easy to lose Him there, lose Him here, which is why He tells us time and time again not to wonder at the ways of this wicked world but only to wonder at the ways of our God.

Here is arching graces breaking water's surface set to the back drop of dazzling hues ablaze.

What is it there?  Where you are?
      A white winter's drift or the loud laughter of little voices muffled behind their winter bundling.
      A gentle breeze that stirs the night air or the great light of our night shining full and bright.
What is it where you are?  It is everywhere and all around and tells the tale of God True, He is there and He is here and He is everywhere.

His Presence indwells in a place and we call it Holy but first we must recognize Him.

Some may say that He shows us in small and subtle signs but truth be told there is nothing small nor subtle about a rising star, a sun breaking light on the horizon bathing all in light ~ no, not small or even a little subtle.

And yet somehow the repetitive wonder of this rising star allows our spirits to deaden to the wonder and the awe.  Our Enemy preys on our feeble senses and attacks our propensity to the mundane and we wallow and waddle through life, heads down, feet dragging completely blind to the glorious Light all around.  Our worlds are small and our vision narrow, we only see the material and ignore the eternal.

But, everyday His mercies are new and in gentle ways He nudges us past the material to see the eternal.  And bright and early His Sun rises again to remind again that the Other Son had done that too.

Regardless of circumstances, regardless of this dark world the bright Son rises anew for me and for you.  And when we stop and call a place, a space Holy then the moment comes to life and we become as those ones who arch high and find His life's breath.  We name Holy and lungs fill full, full of Him.

They rolled on, breaking surface again and again and I rolled on and broke surface as well.  I broke through the surface of the material and breathed heavy of the eternal.

Truly.  He is just that Good.

Race on and name Holy - Holy and brake through.


Romans 1:20 ~ "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they were without excuse."

The Great Overshadowing ~ Day 11 (Posted only a few days late)

Revelation 21:5 ~ "Then He Who sat on the throne said, 'Behold, I make all things new.'  And He said to me, 'Write, for these words are faithful and true.'" 

In this new thing, this Great Overshadowing, just 11 days in I feel, well . . . tired, old and certainly not new.  "All things new . . . " ~ yet, I am old and tired and the bad habits and the issues ~ well, they certainly are old and very tired.  So, where does that leave me?  It appears that it leaves me as just the same old problematic me.

Day 11 ~  Goal ~ to live a life overshadowed greatly by God, I seem to have failed at that too.  Awesome.

I read the above scripture again ~ "And He said to me, 'Write for these words are faithful and true.'"  I rewind a few words back, "all things new . . ." but God remember, my goal, this overshadowing, and day 11 and already failure.  Not new, same old messed up me, rarely get anything right for more than, oh say, an hour!  He rewinds me a few more words, "He Who sat on the throne," and there it is, my 35 year old problem, I tend to look at me ~ my accomplishments, my failures, my desires, my feelings.  Me.  My.  Problem.

What if the great overshadowing means just this ~ it is truly not about me and all about Him?

Truth be told, this great overshadowing, seems well, like maybe perfection.  Perfection.  Finally!  I will finally run the marathon, write the book, drop the extra 5 lbs (ok 10 lbs), never snap at a child, memorize scripture like my life depended on it (it quite possibly does), return all phone calls and emails, live on lentils and fruit, meet every need with a cheerful smile, never over sleep the 5am wakeup call to prayer and NEVER start a fight with my husband just because I am grumpy and feel like being a pain.

Day 11 ~  I see a problem, the Great Overshadowing was still just about me ~ I was just now going to be a perfect me!  With God's help of course.

But, what if?  What if?  The Great Overshadowing results in none of the above, what if?  What will I do if I gain 10 more lbs, do not write a book, log 5 miles a week instead of 40 miles, meet needs slightly begrudgingly, and continue to irritate my husband with my "call to war" just because I am grumpy.

God would not do that.  Says who?  God is God, it is His prerogative ~ He may like me just fine as a pudgy, non - book writing, non - read writer, slow and low mileage runner, obnoxious wife and mother (maybe He is trying to teach my family patience) and maybe He is using me to keep the candy/ice cream companies in business.  Who knows?  And what if?  What if on the other side of this year I am less impressive to you (and honestly to me) but more impressive to Him?  What if the world categorizes me as a failure but He calls me a success?

What if the overshadowing does not make me a perfect version of me?  It just makes me more of His?

Day 11 ~  I have to answer honestly, will I be ok with that?

Day 11 ~ YES

So, if over the next 354 days you notice I am more of a hot mess then normal, don't judge.  I am just trying to figure out this whole ~ stop looking at me and start looking at ~ "He Who sits on throne" thing and to be quite frank, that does not come easy to me.  No, not at all.

2014 ~

Drop 10 lbs ~ my babies have only been home for 4 months, it is my adoption 10, don't judge.
Run a marathon ~ don't hold your breath, you may pass out.
Forsake sugar ~ well now, that would not be fair to all the Blue Bell employees now would it?
Never snap at a child ~ I really should work on that but in all fairness there are 9 of them!
What else?  Oh right, the book ~ maybe we already have enough books, maybe, just maybe we have too many books since the only needed Book was already written.

Maybe at the end of 2014 the world will call me a failure but what if He says, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  That "what if" is certainly enough for me.


 

The Great Overshadowing

Luke 1:35 ~ "Then the angel of the Lord said to her, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you . . ."

In the quiet trust of a young girl the Most High found the home He sought for His Son and for Himself.  In her quiet frame crafted from dust and his age old bone (Gen. 2:22) He found a place to dwell and in His dwelling there is truly an overshadowing and young mother is lost in the wonder of it all and remade by the Savior of us all.  The wonder of that ~ to have the power of Most High God overshadow your all!

I cannot imagine, I cannot fully understand and yet, I hear a familiar sound, a tune sung from our fathers of faith.  We have heard it before and Mary not only hears, but believes, and not only believes but lives the ancient truth ~

Psalm 91:1 ~ "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide (remain stable and fixed) under the shadow of the Almighty."

Mary dwelled in the secret place of the Most High.
   Mary knew the secret of her Most High God ~ He was not only Savior but rest in the battle as well.

Out of power and shadow come Miracle Babe but in that power of that awesome Shadow is also . . . our home.

You know . . . I write to myself.  This overshadowing, this is my Home.  This is my Breath.  This is my Bread.  This is my Life.  I write to myself.

Blessed mother knew Truth to bless this mother ~ He will overshadow those who will abide . . . there is a secret place I can rest and hide.

Again, I write to myself ~
   The Shadow of the Almighty,
      will not always fit into our box so tidy,
   He will not be cover,
     for only what I choose and ignore the other,
   I cannot some sin keep,
     And expect to dive into the Almighty's deep.
   It is a moment by moment chance,
     to dance the Almighty's dance,
   I choose death to sin,
     that I may live to Him,                                   (Romans 6:7-8)
   Regardless of circumstance,
     I gladly choose my Maker's dance.

In the shadow of the Most High ~ we are lost, lost to sin and lost to self.  He will not allow a partial covering, covering of sickness but ignore the sin.  We cannot pick and choose that which we will allow Him to cover, this is not a game of percentages ~ it is either everything or nothing.

As I run towards my halfway mark, race to my home and the sun beats hot and the blistering pavement heats through the soles to my soul and the sweat and the tears pool an inch thick ~ every runner knows the heat of the day ~ at this place and in this space I must make a choice.  Stay out in the blistering sun, keep my sin and my grumbling and race hot in the sweltering or choose His shade, lay the sin down for the sun to bake and all the grumbling for my Savior to take and run and race in His eternal grace.

Blistering heat or Mighty Oak Shade?  Every good runner knows ~ run lite and run to the Shade.

Race on, Race Home.  And let 2014 be the Year of the Great Overshadowing ~ let it be Lord.