Love

The thoughts run rancid and I gape at my own unloving ugliness and I look away in disgust and I look away in shame . . . I look away from myself.

And I say again ~ "This is so unnatural!  You have asked the impossible!  To love another, so unlike her mother.  To love continually, to love regardless, to love hourly and eternally, to love despite, despite her and now I see, despite me.  It is not natural this thing we have done!  It is impossible and
I   can  not  do  it!"

And in that final moment, in that last ~  I  can  not  ~ I hear a subtle sigh of relief slip over the side of the heavenly seat.  A cosmic congratulations, the heavenly host heralds ~
    "She finally does see!
        She is capable of nothing!
     Apart from her heavenly Me!"

And He does declare victory in this ugly and battered heart of mine, a heart fully surrendered.

And I do gladly declare ~
   
    I  can  not, so He must, and He certainly will and He does . . . the impossible again and again in this heart of mine.

Today, I run this race and dance our duo, and words of a perfect love that casts out fear and bears all things, these words run as companion, these words dance as hope; that the God of completion will complete this perfect love in me.

(1 John 4:7-19, 1 Corinthians 13)