What is a Mother's Day when you are unsure of your new mother? Interesting and a little painful. A child who is homesick for her country and for her birth mother does not readily engage in a day of celebration of this new woman who attempts to claim the title of Mom. And nagging, doubtful thoughts dance around my mind and I wonder, will next Mother's Day be better? And yet, in the same moment that these hurtful thoughts dance across my mind I see the shadows of a gift given dance across the walls and I hear His voice, His ever-present voice. His gentle words direct me to the shadowy words across my wall that speak of beauty in His time, beauty in My time ...
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ~ "He has made everything beautiful in its time..."
Give Me time and you will see the thing of beauty that becomes of this bond between daughter and mother, give Me time and you will see the beauty that becomes of this bond between daughter and her heavenly Father. And as the words dance along the wall ~ this white washed military wall, in a room furnished almost entirely with hand me down furniture, a room that stands sparse and entirely unlovely, I see His beauty dance before my eyes. And I am reminded that it is entirely possible and even yet promised to be a thing of beauty, this relationship between daughter and mother. And I read on in my Bible ~
Ecclesiastes 3:14 ~ "I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever..." A promise spoken directly to me for you see, this relationship of mother and daughter was done by God and it shall be forever. But, He is not done, He continues on and speaks words of life to my hurting and tired heart and ...
vs 15 ~ "That which is has already been, and what is to be has already been..."
And you see, it is already a thing of beauty, this child and her mother already are and we have been and we will forever be a thing of beauty in the eyes of the One that has done this thing.
So, I do not just look forward to that which will be for it already is, so I look no further then that which is before me and I see, I pray I see as He sees ~ beauty.
And in moments of self-pity I ask Him, "how can I love that which does not want to be loved?" And He patiently reminds me of my own adoption and that He loved me first, long before I saw my need for His love. He paid the ultimately terrible price to bring me into His family and yet I turned a blind eye to His love and suffering and I stood in the distance in rebellion and diffidence and I shunned His redemption. Yet, He loved on and He loved passionately and He never asked, "how can I love that which receives not my love?" He just loved on and on and He loved the unlovable and His love turned the unlovable into a thing of beauty.
Can I love that which spurns my love? No, I can not, but He can and He will and He does and He speaks a kind word through my mouth and through my hand He lays a healing Hand gently on a wounded and scarred back.
And this Mama is eternally grateful to her daughter that has been brought to her through this stormy, messy thing called adoption because God has used this little girl to show her Mama how much He loves her and the awful pain that He went through to bring this Mama home and I thank God everyday for revealing Himself to me and adopting me.
Mother's Day? There is always next year, and 5 out 6 is not bad, right?
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ~ "He has made everything beautiful in its time..."
Give Me time and you will see the thing of beauty that becomes of this bond between daughter and mother, give Me time and you will see the beauty that becomes of this bond between daughter and her heavenly Father. And as the words dance along the wall ~ this white washed military wall, in a room furnished almost entirely with hand me down furniture, a room that stands sparse and entirely unlovely, I see His beauty dance before my eyes. And I am reminded that it is entirely possible and even yet promised to be a thing of beauty, this relationship between daughter and mother. And I read on in my Bible ~
Ecclesiastes 3:14 ~ "I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever..." A promise spoken directly to me for you see, this relationship of mother and daughter was done by God and it shall be forever. But, He is not done, He continues on and speaks words of life to my hurting and tired heart and ...
vs 15 ~ "That which is has already been, and what is to be has already been..."
And you see, it is already a thing of beauty, this child and her mother already are and we have been and we will forever be a thing of beauty in the eyes of the One that has done this thing.
So, I do not just look forward to that which will be for it already is, so I look no further then that which is before me and I see, I pray I see as He sees ~ beauty.
And in moments of self-pity I ask Him, "how can I love that which does not want to be loved?" And He patiently reminds me of my own adoption and that He loved me first, long before I saw my need for His love. He paid the ultimately terrible price to bring me into His family and yet I turned a blind eye to His love and suffering and I stood in the distance in rebellion and diffidence and I shunned His redemption. Yet, He loved on and He loved passionately and He never asked, "how can I love that which receives not my love?" He just loved on and on and He loved the unlovable and His love turned the unlovable into a thing of beauty.
Can I love that which spurns my love? No, I can not, but He can and He will and He does and He speaks a kind word through my mouth and through my hand He lays a healing Hand gently on a wounded and scarred back.
And this Mama is eternally grateful to her daughter that has been brought to her through this stormy, messy thing called adoption because God has used this little girl to show her Mama how much He loves her and the awful pain that He went through to bring this Mama home and I thank God everyday for revealing Himself to me and adopting me.
Mother's Day? There is always next year, and 5 out 6 is not bad, right?
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