BJ (Will) was able to work out the vehicle situation for us for when the girls come home, thereby buying us a few years before we have to purchase a new car. Which is a huge blessing. He ordered a back bench from a junk yard to put in place of our captain seats in the middle of the van and it now seats 8! A tight 8 but 8, fortunetly the kids are all thin.
Confession: Over the last few weeks I have been having moments of concern, actually moments bordering on the line of panic regarding bringing the girls home. The thought of 2 more children to care for, educate, feed etc. has been causing a little unrest in my mind lately, especially considering that these two girls will bring a whole host of special needs. I have tried not to give any credit to these fears, knowing that God will provide all; I have pushed them from my mind as quickly as possible but nevertheless they have been there on the edges of my mind. Today He brought me comfort to those fears, as He always does if we wait on Him.
Mark 12:44 "For they all threw in out of their abundance: but she, out of her deep poverty, has put in everything that she had - all she had on which to live."
Jesus was speaking about the widow that had thrown in "two copper mites" which was the sum of a half cent, she was surrounded by rich people throwing in large sums of money. As those around her gave far more money then she, she dropped in her meager offering and Jesus saw it all. vs 43 "... I tell you, this widow, poverty-stricken, has put in more than all those contributing to the treasury." Jesus saw all that she had given and He was moved by her generosity.
As I read this passage I thought, I have never given out of my deep poverty, as a matter of fact I have never even been close to living in deep poverty. I wondered and prayed if I would be able to give out of my deep poverty. But, then God reminded me that I am giving out of poverty in this adoption, I am giving out of a deep poverty of time, energy, capabilities and at times out of desire. I really have nothing to give these children, I am worn out most days and barely get by with the four children already living in my house. I know that in reality it is God who is caring for these children each day. He reminded me of the fears I have been facing lately and He also reminded me that He sees my deep poverty and He has all the bases covered, He has my back.
I continued to think and pray about this scripture in Mark and I thought it would be wonderful to hear the rest of this widow's story. In my selfish and very human reasoning I wanted a little more confirmation, I wanted to hear how Jesus hooked her up; you know; a nice home, a great retirement plan, a brand new vehicle in the driveway. Jesus had witnessed her willingness to give, surely He had removed her from her "deep poverty" and I wanted to hear all about that.
However, God showed me that I was missing the boat, seriously missing the boat. He showed me a picture of Jesus sitting across from the treasury watching humanity stream in and out; Jesus, my Jesus, your Jesus. He witnesses this poor widow and "He called His disciples to him" (vs 43) and He commends her for her sacrificial gift. It struck me that I was wondering about what blessings were brought into her life after this but she has already been given just a wonderful gift. The Son of the Living God saw her and was so moved by her that He called his disciples to Himself to teach about the true value of her gift. I don't need a commentary or even another verse in the Bible to know that she had been given far more then she could have dreamed of; she had touched the heart of Jesus. No house or retirement plan could ever hold even a fraction of the value of Jesus' love and approval. She had already proven she had a servant's heart and she wanted to show her love for her God in anyway that she could.
Jesus, left the temple after speaking of the widow, He would be crucified shortly there after. His last lesson in the temple was taught with this widow's humilty as its focal point. She gave everything she had and was given everything she could ever be in need of. John 4: 10 " and He would have given you living water."
I pray God always sets me straight when I miss the boat and that I may learn how to give out of my "deep poverty" also.
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