Take 2

There appears to be some name confusion regarding my husband; some of you know him as Will and some of you know him as BJ, he is in fact one in the same. BJ is his family name, nicknamed after his father who was called Billy Jo as a child. When we checked into his first boat in WA state (notice I say "we" because as a military wife what happens to him, happens to me!) he decided to start going by the name Will (since he is William Joseph). So, if you knew him pre - USS HM Jackson then he is BJ to you, if you are post - HMJ then to you he is Will. I will probably use both names in this blog so hopefully that clears up all confusion.
On to more important things, not to say BJ/Will is not very important but you know what I mean. In church we are starting a series on the Incredible Family which is very timely for rapidly expanding family. This morning I was studying some of the verses our pastor used and one that I have heard many times and most of us can quote and often do seemed to take on new meaning for me.
Matthew 22: 37 -39
"And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
You know it right? We all know it, but do we really? What does that really look like? It is so simple, yet so profound. But, if I were to be honest with you I would have to say that while it is simple to understand, it has been deeply painful for me to put into practice, if I can even claim that I am putting it into practice. To love the Lord your God with all you are; with all of your strengths, your talents, your weaknesses, your career, your money, your education, your free time, your hobbies, your relationships, etc. I wonder do I really do that? There are so many things I desperately love; my husband and children, my parents and sister, friends, church, running, my dog (who is laying at my feet right now like the loyal and loving dog he is,) sugar (yea, I said it, I am a sugar addict, which is something I am working on,) reading and many other things and honestly I put many of them before God sometimes. But, if I am being REALLY honest you know what I love more then all of those things sometimes; myself. I hate to admit it but I do, I think about me all the time! It makes me sad to think about how often I think about what I want or what I need. Which ties in nicely to commandment #2 "to love thy neighbor as thyself," because if I took care of my neighbor as well as I take care of myself my neighbor would be one happy camper! If we love the Lord our God with all we are and our neighbor as ourselves are we willing to prove it? If God asks us to move out of the house we have worked so hard for so that we can give more to those in need around us, are we willing to do that? What about our careers? Would we walk away from the money and the prestige we all hold so dear to serve those who may not even appreciate us? or give up hobbies, habits, leave relationships that are not healthy? The list can go on and on of the things we love and serve and they often have nothing to do with God or our neighbor. So, maybe that is part of what this adoption is about for BJ and I; laying down some of the things we love, to answer a call that teaches us to love Him first and then our neighbor. Everyday I pray He will give me the strength to walk this road He has called me to and that I won't disappoint Him. When God asked me to forfeit my education and my career to stay home and home school my children I thought my heart would break and some days it got pretty close. But, He picked me up time and time again and He taught me how to live this life and I know He will do the same as we set out on another arduous mission. I know that life is short and He loves us desperately and passionately and He wants us to love Him in the same manner. Pray for me as I will pray for you that we may live always by these commandments.