There has been this thing of late - this weighty thing, a heaviness as lead to the legs. And it has truly laid me land-locked, tethered tightly to the fleeting. Sadly, so tethered tightly to the fleeting. It is a tethering I most surely despise, being mortared to the mortal. I know where I belong, where I should be ~ somewhere amongst the lofty breeze, head in the clouds and firmly following the foundational truth, the truth ~ that I am merely passing through and no need to be land-locked nor tethered tightly.
And yet, I have allowed it, again. Oh, why do I permit it? It has been my reality for weeks, but only because I tolerate the tethering.
But, she has said this thing, "Your most recent writings had expressed more mercy, a deeper grace . . . " In the moment, I was unsure of that meaning. And yet, I have heard those words many times over as I have lamented over the lead in the legs of late.
And He quietly whispers, "It is Truth, this mercy and grace." And then, I slip into very well worn paths of but . . . my choices of late do not warrant any mercy or grace? And He calmly tells the same tale of me, and Him ~ "Truly your choices of late do not warrant mercy or grace but, then again, have they ever? It is nothing to do with your choices and everything to do with My Choice. My Choice chose to die so I could offer grace and mercy to the likes of you."
I don't know why I struggle to know this lesson He lays bare again and again. A deeply rooted pride I do believe - a certainty in my self-assurance to accomplish or attain. Until, I fail, again. And then the self-assurance falls to self-loathing and I live faltering from one side of the pendulum swing to the other.
And yet, He still writes of a mercy and a grace, He writes the same story, tried and true, on the lines of my life. I so often falter and flounder when I know of a better way, but He always answers with the same - an Answer of mercy and grace.
Will another brush with majestic mercy and heavenly grace be enough to lay waste to the lead in my legs?
I do not know. I pray so.
But, regardless of lead in legs or a spirit soaring with the Son ~ He is still always Mercy and Grace to His people.
And yet, I have allowed it, again. Oh, why do I permit it? It has been my reality for weeks, but only because I tolerate the tethering.
But, she has said this thing, "Your most recent writings had expressed more mercy, a deeper grace . . . " In the moment, I was unsure of that meaning. And yet, I have heard those words many times over as I have lamented over the lead in the legs of late.
And He quietly whispers, "It is Truth, this mercy and grace." And then, I slip into very well worn paths of but . . . my choices of late do not warrant any mercy or grace? And He calmly tells the same tale of me, and Him ~ "Truly your choices of late do not warrant mercy or grace but, then again, have they ever? It is nothing to do with your choices and everything to do with My Choice. My Choice chose to die so I could offer grace and mercy to the likes of you."
I don't know why I struggle to know this lesson He lays bare again and again. A deeply rooted pride I do believe - a certainty in my self-assurance to accomplish or attain. Until, I fail, again. And then the self-assurance falls to self-loathing and I live faltering from one side of the pendulum swing to the other.
And yet, He still writes of a mercy and a grace, He writes the same story, tried and true, on the lines of my life. I so often falter and flounder when I know of a better way, but He always answers with the same - an Answer of mercy and grace.
Will another brush with majestic mercy and heavenly grace be enough to lay waste to the lead in my legs?
I do not know. I pray so.
But, regardless of lead in legs or a spirit soaring with the Son ~ He is still always Mercy and Grace to His people.
