In the Spirit

This one is for you Uncle Jim.  Thank you.

Galatians 6:9 ~ "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season, we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

Someone had prayed those words over us, Will and I, and internally I cringed.  Weary?  Yes, certainly.  Lose heart?  Well, maybe that too.

Understand it was not on some large scale, no, my bags were not packed for Mexico. But . . .
I was weary and my heart, it seemed awfully dirty.

I waged war on weariness but I had a sinking feeling that I was losing.  Slowly, almost microscopically, a moment here and an hour there.  A minor defeat today.  A slight slip yesterday.  Creeping doubt crawling through my mind.

No one-way to ticket to Mexico.  Yet.  But, weary I surely was.

He prayed that scripture and I cringed.  That can't be right.

I admitted to the Spirit what He already knew, that this Mama was on a slippery slope.

Spirit spoke softly, "Maybe you ought to study that scripture a little closer."

It felt as rebuke, I was weary because my knowledge of scripture was shaky.  Great.  Weary and scripturally unsound.  Great.

Spirit patiently reminded that He was my Dearest Friend, He only corrects so His Spirit and mine can connect.

I opened the Word and quickly observed the verse before ~ vs. 8 ~ "For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life."

My Dearest Friend said, "You grow weary and lose heart for you sow to the flesh and corruption is reaped."

He walked me through a typical day and illuminated many places of flesh sowing.  A thought (or two or twenty) here, a word there, idle time, luxury and comfort craved, rest and relaxation sought, judgmental ways, appeasing king stomach and He continued on but I will spare you the boring details.  It was quite a thorough list I must admit.

It is an ongoing battle, one that has been waged on and in the lives of countless believers ~ the war against the flesh.  And for centuries our Enemy has aided and abetted our fleshy ways.  Our Enemy does detest a believer active and communing with the Spirit of God.  A believer continually sowing to flesh and reaping corruption in life, family and ministry is far easier to tolerate.  So, he sets about his ways to distract and deter and determinedly convince us that this "habit" is only natural and that this "desire" is certainly deserved and entirely we all need some luxury now and then.  And we steadily and habitually sow to flesh and reap corruption in body, soul and spirit.  For if he can not keep us from salvation he will fix his sights on weary and a heart lost.

It is time we take stock for time is surely short and as we wallow in our weariness souls slip into his abyss.  Take stock, make note ~ all day and everyday and where you sow to flesh repent and pour your spirit into His Spirit.

The fields are white ~ a harvest is coming . . .

Do you want your family, your friends to be gathered in as grain?  Or thrown into the furnace as chaff?  A harvest is coming . . .

What of those distant lands or your own hometown?  A harvest is coming, the fields are white.

What of your own heart?  Ezekiel tells us of our hearts of stone and our desperate need for a heart of flesh.  Where will your heart fall in the harvest?  A harvest is coming . . .

Sowing to flesh or sowing to Spirit, how do we know?  A simple question to ask yourself ~ does this have an eternal worth?  If yes, then sow away, sow time, energy, money and skill.  If not, then you know it is temporal and our mortal bodies are fleeting and passing away and if you sow there know that the Word promises corruption.

The words spoken to your child?  Your spouse?  Do they serve eternally or burn in the fires of temporal?  The hours spent in front of TV or Facebook or any of our other past times?  Eternal or temporal?  The food we eat, the money we spend, the thoughts rattling around in your head?  Eternal or temporal?

Everyday and all the time ~ we choose ~ sow to flesh and reap corruption or sow to the Spirirt and reap everlasting life.

I had to take stock and answer the Holy Spirit ~ was my weariness product of His call in my life or my choices to sow to flesh?  And with minor, slight adjustments and small decisions I determined to sow to Spirit habitually.  Would it surprise you to hear that I regained heart?  Of course not, for you know as I that the Word of God is Truth and as we breathe in Truth we live it out in reality before a broken humanity.  The Mystery of the Gospel, the Unspeakable , Unfathomable Goodness of Grace walked out on earth ~ but, that is another blog isn't it?!

A race craving Life, Life for me and Life for them so I remind myself continually I must race in the Spirit.

The Doors are Locked and Barred

John 20:19-23 ~  "On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”   After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.  Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.  If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

". . . when the doors were locked for fear of the Jewish leaders. . ." ~ I too know how to shut a few doors, I too know the steady drumming of the fear marching my way.  Dog the doors and seal the hatches, I see a storm brewing and it has fear raining down in torrents.  "Fear of the Jews . . ."  Wait, were not the Jews their own people?  Their own family?  Yes, I know that fear too.  In fact, I scramble somewhere between fear of the loss of family and fear of the needs of my family on a constant continuum.

They were hiding.  I was hiding.

And then He shocked me because He came, Jesus came!  Not after we cleaned our act up and threw open the doors wide but in the midst of our fear, of my trembling ~ Jesus came.

"Jesus came and stood in the midst of them. . . "  ~ He saw the fear and stayed there, and He stayed here. He did not turn away in disgust at my shut doors and fearful ways.

Jesus came and Jesus stayed and then Jesus spoke ~ "Peace, be with you,"  and then again, "Peace to you!"  He spoke Peace.

"Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord."  His people are glad at the seeing, the seeing of scarred hands open wide.  Glad at the seeing.  Not glad at the getting of things or power.  Simply glad at the seeing . . . at the seeing of their Lord.

And Peace again ~ "Peace to you!  As the Father has sent Me, I also send you."

He speaks peace not simply for us but for all of them.  Peace, for all them, for he will surely send us out to exactly our them.  Peace given, Peace spoken, not merely for our own edification, but in preparation for the mission.

And at the saying the breathing and, "He breathed on them, and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit.'"

He spoke Peace and He breathed Spirit, He breathed life into them.

The order is unmistakeable ~

     - Us, bound behind closed doors, chained in sin and full of fear of them.

     -  Jesus came and stood in the midst, there in the middle of our fear.

     -  He spoke peace and His people were glad at the seeing . . . 

     -  And then came the mission, their grand commission ~ the sending by Him, out to all of them.

     -  Breathe now the breath of Life, Spirit given to the previously scared and hidden.

Words then spoken of forgiveness, given only freely through the breath of the Spirit.  We can truly forgive once we have been forgiven and then our lungs fill full of Breath's Life.

I was so scared, long days and hard nights,

  and no answers in sight.

Warred heavy and weary, terrified of the next fight.

Doors were locked and barred,

  and my heart scourged and scarred.

I laid low and I laid bare,

  and He heard every prayer.

Softly He called, "Do not let your mind roam,

  you are almost home."

Then He led me to these words of John,

  and they soothed as heavenly balm.

As aswer to my prayer,

  He is in the midst of every last tear,

He catches them all,

  He guides them as they fall,

He counts them sweet,

  as they slide off my cheek,

and they pool at His feet.

He breathes,

  and my feeble lungs heave,

and life pours in,

  and He prepares me for my them.

It is not just one moment grand,

  but many faithful moments on which I stand.

He, in the midst of every moment,

  and I, continual breathing of Life as I am sent.

For now, He does not send me to some distant land,

  No, my them are always right at hand.

Just a slight walk down the hall,

  at their constant call.

But, close as them may be,

  Sent, is surely me.

Into my fear, "Peace" speaks He,

  and His Spirit I do breathe. 

I race not far, just down the hall but Peace He gives all the same.  The order is clear, our mission simple ~ we are all sent and moment by moment in this sending we must hear His words of Peace and His Spirit receive.

Something Other

You see I became Mom rather young (18 to be exact) and early years spent in worry and fear gave way to a Mom who only knows role as protector and care giver.  As Mom so young I do not remember a life before protector.  And now as the years have passed and my little, she has grown and they have multiplied into the nine I now call mine, all I have known is protector and their care giver.

I labor under their needs and bleed under their pain and think of myself as no other but their Mother.

I trudged this morning and prayed for their needs and begged Him to stop up the bleeds.  I said aloud, "I know You are their true Father, Giver of life and good gifts.  Please pour good gifts and protect our precious nine."

And quiet voice whispered, "You know Mother, I am Father to another.  You forget all too often that I do not think of you as Mother to nine, but a precious daughter of Mine."

He stopped me cold in my tracks, an argument started to fly but He silenced me with, "Please, do not try.  For remember you were daughter to Me long before the nine had came to be and daughter to Me you will always be, from now until eternity."

And for once the argument I did not allow to fly, and I ran on lighter and certainly faster, for you see I am not just protector but a loved daughter.

And to a young single Mom who became an old battle, worn Mother of nine the knowledge that He does not see me "as just their Mom," who can be expended or maybe even erased for them but He sees me as His own daughter, it is certainly heavenly knowledge to me.  Daughter that can pour out for the love of her nine but daughter who can not be erased from her Father's mind.  This knowledge came as life to soul as breath is to lungs.

Even now, I sit and marvel,
    You think of me as something other,
then the nine's mother,
    You love me, simply for me,
tired and worn as I may be.

I raced on and I raced home knowing that I will certainly tire,
   as we trudge through the muck and the mire,
But now, a gentle knowing that my Father's love,
   pours out in buckets from above.
And, He lovingly reminds, "not just on the precious nine,
   but eternally on you ~ beloved daughter of Mine.
And you little daughter, will be loved throughout all of time."

Bunyan's Rhymes for a Weary Mind

I had struggled, as I had written,
    so many words, yet, so few smitten.

It is an art, a craft; my craft,
    to walk away would certainly be daft.

I read his words; a silly rhyme?
    No, for truly, Bunyan's rhymes,
had stood the test of tyme.

And as Bunyan rhymed,
    he reminded this weary mind,
That there was a Book of a certain kind,
    The likes to which another we can not find.

A Book of Poetry,
  A Book of Allegory,
    A Book of Mystery,
That spans the pages of History.

His Words are Art,
    they made whole my heart.

Art, is love in motion;
    music or words running fluid as the ocean,
Telling the tale of His love throughout all of creation.